Money Dates

martinis and your money

Money Dates

As many of my clients can attest, I love assigning money dates to them as homework or financial exercises, especially when they are not exactly on the same page where household finances are concerned. So I thought I would devote a podcast episode to money dates and how you can make them a fun and successful part of your journey to financial fitness.

I am excited that my friend, Elle Martinez, of the website and podcast, Couple Money decided to join me to discuss this topic. Elle was previously a guest on Martinis and Your Money in the episode 5 Smart Money Tips for Couples; and she is a practicing money dater with great tips and ideas for what a money date should look and feel like.

What are we drinking?

Elle — Saw-whet Saison Ale

Shannon — White Wine Spritzer

Podcast Notes

  • Elle and her husband are practicing money daters.
  • Elle says money dates are financial check-ins to help couples communicate and should be fun!
  • They are an opportunity for couples to become closer and should be a judgment-free zone.
  • Elle says everyone should know their net-worth (assets minus liabilities) and how much is in their accounts.
  • Shannon says at minimum couples should have a money date once a month.
  • Possible questions to discuss if it is your first money date include:
    • Where are we now?
    • Where do you want to go?
  • Some of the biggest fights between couples happen because one person in the relationship hasn’t discussed their financial goals with the other.
  • It is normal for couples to have disagreements relating to your finances.
  • You can’t be afraid to deliver bad news to your partner, and you also can’t be afraid to receive bad news during these conversations.
  • Every financial decision you make affects your partner; you have to be on the same team if either one of you want to achieve the goals you have.
  • Shannon says even if you have separate finances in your relationship, sharing your numbers during a monthly money date is very important for accountability.
  • You have a responsibility to make financial decisions that are acceptable to your partner.
  • Money is a tool that can draw a couple closer together or drive a wedge between them.
  • Keep your money dates big picture and goal-focused.
  • Both Shannon and Elle agree that spreadsheets have no place in money dates unless they are something extremely important to you.
  • Just like avoiding talking about the downs in your relationship, avoiding talking about your financial downs doesn’t make them go away.

Steps for a Successful Money Date

  1. Lay ground rules for the date to make sure it is a fun and positive experience; Money dates should be relationship-building, not relationship-destroying.
  2. Get all your accounts together.
  3. Determine your immediate goals, then your near-term goals.
  • Where are we now?
  • Where do we want to go?
  1. Work together to figure out how to achieve those goals—COMPROMISE.
  2. Evaluate how previous financial decisions affected your financial goals and relationship to determine what you both need to work on until your next money date.
  3. Always end your money dates on a positive note!

Connect With Elle through her website Couple Money

Do you have money dates with your partner? If so, what are they like?

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Shannon is a financial planner who left a “traditional” financial services firm to start her own company, The Financial Gym, because she felt traditional financial services firms did not have the tools or resources to help people in their 20s and 30s who are starting out and trying to build assets while also managing debt. She realized that the key to long-term personal financial success is a commitment to financial fitness and making smart financial choices. Through her blog, Financially Blonde, her book, Train Your Way To Financial Fitness, her podcast, Martinis and Your Money and The Financial Gym, Shannon is committed to making financial fitness fun, easy and accessible for everyone.


  1. We are nerdy enough to actually enjoy talking about our finances and goals just about any time we get out on a date. It really is fun to plan and dream together once you get on the same page. Though that part can be tricky for some couples.

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