Yes, this song, Hate that I Love You, is about an unhealthy relationship between two people; however, I think we can all fill in the “boy/girl” part of the lyrics with an item or experience that we all indulge in and wish that we didn’t. For me, it’s shoes. I hate how much I love them. I hate that I love them so. As I embarked on the journey to become financially fit, I found it relatively easy to give up many things so that I could have a sexier bank account. However, shoes are a very difficult item for me not to purchase. I think we all struggle with our financial kryptonite. It is truly a relationship that we develop with our spending problems. We get emotional when it comes to that item or experience. We feel it when we don’t indulge. But like any unhealthy relationship, when it gets to the point where we are “unglued” from it, we need to stop and evaluate why we remain in it. Sometimes the relationship is not completely unhealthy, but maybe we need to spend less time on it.
When I work with clients who struggle with unhealthy spending relationships (i.e. shoes, purses, wine, cars, watches, travel, etc.) the first step is acknowledging that this is a weakness. Once we identify the weakness, then we can make the best plan to confront the issue. This plan ultimately leads to a healthy long-term relationship for my clients and more money in their bank accounts.
As for me with my shoes, I created an allowance within my financial plan specifically for shoes. It is a dollar amount that allows me to buy one or four pairs depending on how well I spend my money. I like knowing that I have shoes in my plan; therefore, I don’t feel like I ever have to avoid a DSW or Nordstrom. However, I know I have a limited amount of money set aside for these shoes so it certainly makes me more discerning when I’m shopping. If the shoes don’t make my feet look and feel amazing the second I put them on, then I move on and wait for another pair to speak to me. If you have one of these relationships, I challenge you to identify, plan, and change it so that you can save yourself the heartache of being in an unhealthy relationship and become closer to achieving financial fitness.