Music Mondays – My Wish

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My Wish – For My Son

Hi everybody, FB Hubby is back since it’s a Father’s Day theme on the blog this week. On Wednesday, Shannon is going to share some financial lessons she has learned from her dad and then on Friday, you are going to be treated to a great podcast where Shannon interviews her dad, my father-in-law. Together they will talk about the financial choices he made in life and how he has tried to pass this wisdom on to all of his children (including buying them all the same book on asset allocation, which I am sure they found to be an exciting read). Since Shannon is highlighting advice from her dad, I thought I would write some to my own son, Will. So in the spirit of Shannon’s Music Mondays, I chose the song My Wish by Rascal Flatts.

 

My First Wish

My wish, for you is that this life becomes all that you want it to,

Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small,

You never need to carry more than you can hold

 

Growing up for me was not easy. My parents divorced when I was five, and I was tasked from a very early age of looking after my brother, who was 14 months younger than me. I was always dubbed the responsible one. Don’t get me wrong, mom, dad, grandparents, my uncle and stepmother, all loved me, but I was largely left to fend for myself while at the same time taking care of others. In high school, I had to balance taking honors classes, playing soccer and running track, and working 30 hours a week. I had friends, but often found myself doing many things on my own. I didn’t have big dreams, but I did have big worries. I felt like I carried the weight of the world, and it was a back-breaking load.

So Will, my first wish for you is to not grow up like I did. I listen to your dreams and they are so big and beautiful, and I never want you to stop. I want you to keep your worries small because your spirit is so bright; it drives away all the darkness that could be around you. I know having ADHD is a load to carry, but I am amazed at how strong you are in bearing that load. May you always be that strong.

my wish

My Second Wish

I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow,

And each road leads you where you wanna go

 

Obviously, I could not wait to grow up. I wanted time to fly quickly so I could get off to college. Then I wanted to be off on my own as fast as I could. Unfortunately, that caused me to miss things. When I traveled, I was so concerned about seeing everything that I rarely took the time to look at anything. The greatest advice I got on my wedding day came from my best man, Jim. He told me that before Shannon came in, to take a long, good look around. I did that, and to this day I can still see everyone in the church, how they looked, where they sat, and I treasure that memory of all those who came to wish us well. I did the same thing not long ago when I gave a speech to a senior class, and I can still see their faces staring back at me. All because I made a choice to slow those moments down.

So Will, as you journey through life, I wish that you take your time. Stop and spend time in the special moments of your life. Absorb every detail. Don’t be in such a hurry to get to the next thing. May you always live in the moment.

my wish3

My Third Wish

And if you’re faced with a choice, and you have to choose,

I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.

 

Now Will, if there is a part of my life that I do hope you will emulate, it lies in the choices you make. I worked my ass off in college to get a degree in Aerospace Engineering. Then I chose to become a high school physics teacher instead. That choice has meant the world to me. Like all choices we make, it has its good parts and its bad parts. However, if the choices you make not only gives meaning to your life, but it gives meaning to the lives of others, then it makes the good even greater, and the bad quickly fade away.

Rather than settle for “good enough” I held out until I met your mom. Sure there were other women I could have married, but I waited for great. So my wish for you is to make choices in your life that have real meaning. Don’t take a job just because it pays a lot of money, you will find your life’s pursuits are meaningless.

Don’t stay with someone because you don’t want to be alone, or you feel like you can settle for “good enough”. If you do, you will find yourself in a relationship that is empty, and you will feel even more alone. I wish that, like me, you find whatever it is that combines your passions and your talents. I wish that, like me, you find your partner in life, someone you are willing to make changes in your life to help fulfill their dreams, and that person is willing to do the same for you.

my wish4

And while you’re out there getting where you’re getting to,

I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too.

So Will, I don’t know what your life will be like, but I do know what your life has been. At nine-years-old, you have already faced some challenges and maintained a shining spirit through it all. One day you will be out there in the world on your own. My wish for you is to have a happy, healthy, and fulfilling life. No matter where you go in life, I do hope you will always know how much I love you. That is my Father’s Day wish.

What are your wishes for your kids? What’s the best advice your Dad gave you?

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Shannon is a financial planner who left a “traditional” financial services firm to start her own company, The Financial Gym, because she felt traditional financial services firms did not have the tools or resources to help people in their 20s and 30s who are starting out and trying to build assets while also managing debt. She realized that the key to long-term personal financial success is a commitment to financial fitness and making smart financial choices. Through her blog, Financially Blonde, her book, Train Your Way To Financial Fitness, her podcast, Martinis and Your Money and The Financial Gym, Shannon is committed to making financial fitness fun, easy and accessible for everyone.

37 COMMENTS

    • Thanks Brian, I think that is all we really need to wish for our children. If they are healthy and happy, not much else really matters. Happy Father’s Day to you, too.

  1. What a thoughtful and poignant post FB Hubby! Having come from a broken home myself, I can relate to your first wish in that our kids don’t grow up in the same type of home. That being said, the second one is what really sticks out to me – my Dad always told me growing up not to “wish time away” and, of course, I didn’t listen to that many times. I want our kids to enjoy and appreciate life, enjoying time as kids.

    • Thanks John. I know what you mean. I wish I could go back and slow myself down. Even now I see Will sometimes wanting to rush through something, so I am working on getting him to slow it all down. Not to mention I want to enjoy all those moments now, too.

    • Thanks Stefanie. My parents do care for me, a lot, it was just tough back then. Shannon equally grew up in a tough situation, so we both work hard to give Will all of our best.

  2. Awww, Shannon, this is so sweet! I didn’t realize we share some similarities from growing up. I grew up in a divorced household, and as the oldest, I was the responsible one — I’m actually a little hyper-responsible now and I have to remember to relax and have more fun! I don’t have kids, so it’s hard to say what advice I would give them, but I certainly know that I would want them to live in the present and enjoy life, not worrying about the future.

  3. Great post, FB hubby. I love Rascal Flatts!!! I too, grew up in a divorced home and it sure can be tough. I spent my youth years feeling abandoned and alone, and so my greatest wish for my kids is that they always know that they are loved unconditionally, by us and by God. Happy Fathers Day!

    • Thanks Laurie. I know we all want more for our kids than we had, but we also don’t want to just hand them everything they want when they want it. The best thing is to find that balance between being supportive and letting them make mistakes.

  4. Awe this was so sweet, and what a great song too! I felt a lot like you growing up. I had to grow up fast when I was in high school because of what my parents were going through. Like you I could not wait to grow up and move on, but now that I’m 44, I’m like, “wait time, slow down!” I’m trying to be better about that. 🙂 Will has a great mom and dad!

    • Thanks Tonya. Its funny how we get to a certain point and start to realize we may have missed a bunch of stuff along the way. Even now I have to remind myself the same thing. BTW I love your comments on the Happy Hour Podcasts with Shannon!

  5. A wonderful and touching post FB Hubby. I have a almost 2 year old son and I want the same for him. For my self, I’ve been having trouble with Wish 2…I tend to focus and plan so much for the future that I fail to live in the moment. It’s also because life is so busy and time is at a premium that I want to “enjoy” everything. And also with Wish 3, yea I think too often my decisions are based on the financial aspects.

    • Thanks Andrew. I can tell you that you really need to work on Wish 2 because you are going to blink and your son will suddenly be 9 and you will wonder how you missed so much. As for Wish 3, I am lucky that I got into something that, even though it does not make a lot of money, still gets me going every day! Happy Father’s Day.

    • Thanks Hannah. Yeah, the world is tough enough as it is, so no sense in bringing down a little boy’s dreams. Will often talks about being a professional soccer player, and I like that he believes he can.

  6. What a beautiful post for Will. His energy and spirit always shines so clearly in the pictures you post and it’s obvious where he gets it – from both his Mom and Dad. There is clearly a lot of love in your home and shows. These are wonderful wishes for him and ones that I also want for my girls. And may they all find them and so much more. Happy Father’s Day, FB Hubby!

    • Thanks Shannon! Shannon and I both strive to give Will the chance to do his best in life, and we do love him lots. I know we all want the best wishes for our kids.

  7. I loved this! My dad passed away when I was 18, but I absolutely treasure all the lessons he taught me, but what I will never forget, is how proud he always was of my success. I love how proud you are of Will, too. Happy Father´s Day!

    • Thanks Chela. We all learn things from our Mom’s and Dad’s, but sometimes we don’t realize the lessons until much later. I am proud to watch how quickly Will picks up on things we try to instill in him.

  8. Awwww! What a wonderful post. I was in a huge hurry to grow up as well and if I could have one do over it would be to enjoy each day more instead of being in such a rush to get to the “real world”. That’s an excellent wish for your son.

    • Thanks Kim. That seems to be a common theme. I think it is tough, especially when you are a kid because it always seems like things will be better when you grow up. I tell my students that things are not much different, just more expensive and you have to pay the bills yourself.

  9. FB Hubby, this is the first of your posts that I have read. What a great message to your son! Fathers are so important. A big segment of the population criticizes men for how they have failed their wives, their children, and for the powerfully negative impact this failure has. But while there is truth in that criticism, there is not enough emphasis on the opposite: Good husbands and good fathers have a powerfully awesome impact! The positive ripple effects from good fathers are boundless. You sure sound like a good dad and husband to me. I encourage you to stay true to this calling. Will is a lucky guy. Happy Father’s Day!

    • Thanks Prudence. Most of my other posts for Shannon tend to be how to save money via DIY, however I really wanted to write this for Will. The nice trend I often read about is how men are starting to spend less time at work and more with their family. I certainly feel it is important that we do and hope that trend grows.

  10. Aw, what a great music Monday! And what a terrific bunch of wishes for your kid. Having parents who encourage you not to settle and to work hard enough to not only chase your dreams but succeed at chasing them is a major blessing in life. Will’s lucky to have you guys!

  11. What a wonderful post. I’m not sure if you showed him the post or not, but if not you should definitely save this and give it to him later on in life. It would be a cool high school graduation gift to print it out and put it in a little booklet.

    • Thanks DC. Shannon actually shared it with him last night. He liked it, but since he is 9, I don’t think he fully grasps it. That is a good idea, I will definitely keep it for the future.

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