My Wish – For My Son
Hi everybody, FB Hubby is back since it’s a Father’s Day theme on the blog this week. On Wednesday, Shannon is going to share some financial lessons she has learned from her dad and then on Friday, you are going to be treated to a great podcast where Shannon interviews her dad, my father-in-law. Together they will talk about the financial choices he made in life and how he has tried to pass this wisdom on to all of his children (including buying them all the same book on asset allocation, which I am sure they found to be an exciting read). Since Shannon is highlighting advice from her dad, I thought I would write some to my own son, Will. So in the spirit of Shannon’s Music Mondays, I chose the song My Wish by Rascal Flatts.
My First Wish
My wish, for you is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold
Growing up for me was not easy. My parents divorced when I was five, and I was tasked from a very early age of looking after my brother, who was 14 months younger than me. I was always dubbed the responsible one. Don’t get me wrong, mom, dad, grandparents, my uncle and stepmother, all loved me, but I was largely left to fend for myself while at the same time taking care of others. In high school, I had to balance taking honors classes, playing soccer and running track, and working 30 hours a week. I had friends, but often found myself doing many things on my own. I didn’t have big dreams, but I did have big worries. I felt like I carried the weight of the world, and it was a back-breaking load.
So Will, my first wish for you is to not grow up like I did. I listen to your dreams and they are so big and beautiful, and I never want you to stop. I want you to keep your worries small because your spirit is so bright; it drives away all the darkness that could be around you. I know having ADHD is a load to carry, but I am amazed at how strong you are in bearing that load. May you always be that strong.
My Second Wish
I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
And each road leads you where you wanna go
Obviously, I could not wait to grow up. I wanted time to fly quickly so I could get off to college. Then I wanted to be off on my own as fast as I could. Unfortunately, that caused me to miss things. When I traveled, I was so concerned about seeing everything that I rarely took the time to look at anything. The greatest advice I got on my wedding day came from my best man, Jim. He told me that before Shannon came in, to take a long, good look around. I did that, and to this day I can still see everyone in the church, how they looked, where they sat, and I treasure that memory of all those who came to wish us well. I did the same thing not long ago when I gave a speech to a senior class, and I can still see their faces staring back at me. All because I made a choice to slow those moments down.
So Will, as you journey through life, I wish that you take your time. Stop and spend time in the special moments of your life. Absorb every detail. Don’t be in such a hurry to get to the next thing. May you always live in the moment.
My Third Wish
And if you’re faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
Now Will, if there is a part of my life that I do hope you will emulate, it lies in the choices you make. I worked my ass off in college to get a degree in Aerospace Engineering. Then I chose to become a high school physics teacher instead. That choice has meant the world to me. Like all choices we make, it has its good parts and its bad parts. However, if the choices you make not only gives meaning to your life, but it gives meaning to the lives of others, then it makes the good even greater, and the bad quickly fade away.
Rather than settle for “good enough” I held out until I met your mom. Sure there were other women I could have married, but I waited for great. So my wish for you is to make choices in your life that have real meaning. Don’t take a job just because it pays a lot of money, you will find your life’s pursuits are meaningless.
Don’t stay with someone because you don’t want to be alone, or you feel like you can settle for “good enough”. If you do, you will find yourself in a relationship that is empty, and you will feel even more alone. I wish that, like me, you find whatever it is that combines your passions and your talents. I wish that, like me, you find your partner in life, someone you are willing to make changes in your life to help fulfill their dreams, and that person is willing to do the same for you.
And while you’re out there getting where you’re getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too.
So Will, I don’t know what your life will be like, but I do know what your life has been. At nine-years-old, you have already faced some challenges and maintained a shining spirit through it all. One day you will be out there in the world on your own. My wish for you is to have a happy, healthy, and fulfilling life. No matter where you go in life, I do hope you will always know how much I love you. That is my Father’s Day wish.