The Comparison Game – Happy Hour Style

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martinis and your money

The Comparison Game

Today is the last Friday of the month and in case you are new to this blog or my podcast, on the last Friday of the month, I host a happy hour on my podcast where the happy hour ladies and I talk about various money topics while drinking cheap drinks! Today, we are talking about the comparison or jealousy game.

As I wrote about on Monday, I feel as though we all are susceptible to the influences of the jealousy game whether we like them or not, but what’s important is not avoiding jealousy entirely but how we manage it. Despite the fact that many people may think the four of us have nothing to worry about, we all struggle with comparing ourselves to other people and in this episode we share the ups and downs of these emotions.

WHAT ARE WE DRINKING?

Melanie from Dear Debt — a New Belgium Side Trip

Tonya from Budget and the Beach — a Synergy Cosmic Cranberry Kombucha spiked w/ vodka

Mrs. Frugalwoods from Frugalwoods.com — White wine while Babywoods is in bed

Shannon — a Dirty Gin Martini shaken by her husband

PODCAST NOTES

  • Frugalwoods wrote a post about her experience with the jealousy game.
  • Social media definitely compounds the issues because it shows everyone’s “highlight reel.”
  • Tonya quit Facebook for the most part and wrote a post about it.
  • Shannon saw something on Facebook a couple of months ago and had to have Melanie talk her down from the negativity she started to feel.
  • Melanie still struggles with the comparison game even though she is now the person she used to be jealous of because she is now comparing herself to those who have more.
  • Managing the comparison game relies on the balance of you being happy with where you are at the moment but also continuing to push yourself to get to the next level.
  • Practicing gratitude helps you keep perspective of your own journey.
  • Regardless of your situation, you have to acknowledge how people might perceive your message that you post on social media.
  • Your journey with the jealousy game is completely different from someone else’s journey.
  • Tonya says even though she doesn’t have as much traffic on her blog, she loves the community she does have.
  • Tonya despises the feeling that you have to share everything on social media to feel validated.
  • Mrs. Frugalwoods says finding peace in the present is a way to stop yourself from following the comparison journey.
  • Shannon said the jealousy she felt before distracted her from her own goals and journey.
  • She called for help to bring her new perspective about the situation and that helped her to let go of the jealousy she was feeling.
  • Shannon says she likes calling out the Happy Hour ladies about different things on the show to help her listeners see they are no different from them.

TIPS FOR DEALING WITH THE COMPARISON/JEALOUSY GAME

  • Practicing gratitude—being happy with everything you have now—and writing those things down help to put things in perspective. (Melanie)
  • Run your own race and don’t worry about anyone else’s. (Melanie/Shannon’s hubby)
  • Let yourself be inspired by where other people are in their journey but don’t let it consume it. (Melanie)
  • Realize that everyone goes through this at one point or another. (Mrs. Frugalwoods)
  • If you can’t shut off how you are feeling, take a break from social media or anything else that ignites jealousy in you. (Tonya)
  • Keep perspective of where you are, where you’ve come from, and where you are going because it is easy to get fixated on your own insecurities and shortcomings and lose sight of your journey. (Shannon)

 

When was the last time you played the comparison game? How do you counteract the negative feelings of jealousy?

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Shannon is a financial planner who left a “traditional” financial services firm to start her own company, The Financial Gym, because she felt traditional financial services firms did not have the tools or resources to help people in their 20s and 30s who are starting out and trying to build assets while also managing debt. She realized that the key to long-term personal financial success is a commitment to financial fitness and making smart financial choices. Through her blog, Financially Blonde, her book, Train Your Way To Financial Fitness, her podcast, Martinis and Your Money and The Financial Gym, Shannon is committed to making financial fitness fun, easy and accessible for everyone.

6 COMMENTS

  1. I think a name change is in order. Financially-Bus Driver – Throwing friends under the bus and backing over them since 2015. (beep, beep, beep)

    I listened to this episode in my bathrobe, sorry no wine. I did not however post any of those photos to facebook!

    Great episode!

  2. Although sometimes jealousy is a good thing (atleast for me) because it’s motivational.
    Back in 2012 I had salary jealousy when a few friends and I discussed our salaries on a girls trip. I had the lowest salary and felt bad about it. The conversation gave me to the motivation to leave my job and make some career moves that have worked out very well for me professionally. This all may not have happened if my friends’ salaries hadn’t made me feel bad but also gave me the kick in the butt to get moving! Now I know life is not all about your salary but the career moves I have made have helped me towards my path to financial independence.

  3. Oh wow Shannon I totally needed this today!! I fell into the comparison game while browsing Instagram – it was so easy to allow myself to even though that wasn’t my intention when I opened up Instagram >.<

    I so wanted to join in with you ladies – your convo sound so much fun and uplifting. I'll be tossing a Cesar (or I guess it's called a Bloody Mary in the US :P)

    Thank you for the motivation and positivity ladies!! <3

  4. I listened to this podcast 3 times I loved it so much! My Achilles heel is not really money comparison but social. My husband and I are very introverted and have a small group of close family and friends. Hubby and I also love spending time together even after 20 plus years of marriage. Facebook and Instagram always left me feeling like my small group isn’t enough, I should have dozens of friends, not half a dozen close, dear ones. So I quit both. I felt so much better not seeing pics of aquantances off at wine tasting and dinners I wasnt invited too anyway. It didn’t completely take away the feeling of not enough, but it absolutely helped me appreciate those who really matter and love me despite my introverted ways. Your podcast so helped validate my feelings and decision to opt out of the online comparison game. Thank you!

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